Tribal Lifeline

I lost my mother way too soon. She was my best friend, my everything.

We were so close that she jokingly called me her “deodorant” because I was always under her arms. When I moved out to attend grad school, life didn’t feel any different because we constantly spoke on the phone. She always made time to talk, offer advice, or simply listen to me. I watched her suffer from numerous health issues yet she always did all she could to make sure my brother and I had what we needed and felt loved.

She passed before I could fulfill my promise of taking care of her so she could rest.  She passed before I graduated from the master's program that she was so proud I got into. She passed before seeing I found love. She passed before she could meet and spoil her grandchildren. She passed way too soon. As the person I always looked to for support and comfort I felt so lost without my mother, especially when I gave birth to my first child.

I always just assumed she would be there to help me. I assumed she would move in for a few months to help us with the baby, help me heal, offer emotional support, give spiritual encouragement, teach me what to do and what not to do.  She wasn’t. I felt the spirit of depression cover me as I mourned not having my mother during such a precious time of my life.

By the grace of God, support came in ways I didn’t expect.

Certain family members and friends stepped up to help an overwhelmed new mom. They offered help whenever we needed it, cried and laughed with us during our sleep-deprived days of parenting, and beyond. They reminded me to be kind to myself, that everything was going to be ok. In the end, everything was ok because I had their support. My tribe was my lifeline, saving me during a time when so many mothers experience depression. I no longer felt hopeless but supported and loved.

I might not have my mother, but I have an amazing tribe to experience life with. I, in turn, vow to support them as well. I encourage you to find people you trust and allow them to become a member of your tribe, they just might be your lifeline one day.