Trusting the Self-Love Process: A Conversation Inspired by Malcolm X

Hey, Tribe!

I'm excited to share a thought-provoking conversation with my good friend, Aisha. We usually have deep discussions, but this one hit different as it forced us to take a deeper look within. This time, we dove into a powerful quote from one of Malcolm X's speeches: "Who taught you to hate yourself?" This question, though rooted in the civil rights movement of the 60s, still resonates today in our journey toward self-love.

The Roots of Self-Doubt

Our discussion began with reflections on our childhood. Aisha and I thought about how external influences shape our self-perception. From media portrayals to interactions with others, we're bombarded with messages about who we should be, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or difference.

Aisha shared her experience of being one of the few black students in her elementary class, where her hair and complexion were more of a curiosity than a celebrated trait. This, coupled with the negative stereotypes perpetuated by the media, sowed seeds of self-doubt and confusion about her greatness as a child. Doubt about my beauty crept in as none of the things I considered beautiful at the time, like Barbie dolls or actors in the most popular movies, looked like me. Thankfully, eyes and minds are more open today to the fact that representation does matter, but growing up as a child without that representation damaged the development of self-love.

The Turning Point

Our chat then shifted to the moments that sparked a change in our self-love journey. For Aisha, one moment was when a child mistook her for the highly respected Michelle Obama, which made her realize that her insecurities overshadowed her beauty and worth. One positive shift in my self-love journey happened while looking at my son, who looks just like me, and understanding that if I could see beauty in him, I could see it in myself.

Self-Love Advice

As we wrapped up our conversation, we shared some advice for those on the path to self-love:

• Extend grace and kindness to yourself, just as you would to a stranger. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth.

• Fake it till you make it. Affirm your worthiness and beauty until it becomes your reality. Remember, how you love yourself sets an example for those around you.

• Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion. Mindfulness helps you stay present and aware, reducing self-criticism and increasing acceptance of yourself. Aisha loving all of what she sees in the mirror.

• Set Healthy Boundaries. Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for self-respect and self-love. It involves saying no when necessary, prioritizing your needs, and not allowing others to take advantage of you.

• Engage in Positive Self-Talk. The way you talk to yourself significantly impacts your self-esteem and self-love. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and kind words.
  

Our conversation reinforced that self-love is a journey about embracing your uniqueness and recognizing that your differences add color and beauty to the world.

If you're also on a self-love journey, we'd love to hear your affirmations and tips in the comments. Let's continue to elevate and grow together.

Until next time, keep shining, Tribe!